Giving Life
by spottedhorse
Summary: Anthony paces as Robert and Matthew wait. Fourth in the Fummoxed Series.


Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham, watched his son-in-law cross the space between the settee and the window once again. Sighing, he looked down at the rug and smiled as he remembered his own episodes of pacing some years before. Strallan would need a new rug in his library after this day.

For his part, Anthony Strallan was barely aware of Robert's presence and even less conscious of Matthew Crawley, who stood near the window. Deep in his own thoughts, Anthony was also unaware of the looks the two other men exchanged as he turned and headed back across the room. "We shouldn't have been so….so careless…. There are ways…I could have prevented this if I'd only…." he kept telling himself, only half forming the thoughts into words in his mind. Truth was he was scared out of his wits.

When Edith had first told him she was with child, he'd been torn between elation and agony. It would be such a fantastic thing, for her to have his child. Children were something he'd always hoped for and for some reason Maude hadn't been able to give him. There had been numerous attempts, most ending miscarriage early in the process. Then finally she'd made it through the pregnancy and they'd happily anticipated the birth of their first and most probably only child. He'd paced that day just as he was pacing now. Stopping his pacing next to the window, he looked outside. But his mind was conjuring the expression on the doctor's face as he delivered the news. After seven grueling hours of labor, Maude had delivered a girl….stillborn. The pain in his chest had been crushing. The doctor sent him to bed immediately, not allowing him to even see Maude for several hours.

After two more miscarriages, Maude carried another baby to term. The doctor assured them that this one would be born alive. He had been correct. Richard Anthony Strallan came into the world weighing four pounds one ounce. Maude died five minutes later. Anthony stood next to her bed, holding her hand as she slipped from his life. The mid-wife quickly settled the baby in his father's arms and Anthony had barely enough time to welcome his son into the world before he too had slipped away. Not wanting to watch as the doctor tried to revive the obviously dead infant, Anthony went to his room and curled under the covers of his bed, crying as he hadn't cried since he'd been a very small boy.

And now, Edith was upstairs attempting to deliver a baby, his baby. As she had pursued him and there was simply no other way to put it, he'd been charmed by her shy pursuit. After their marriage her pursuit had taken on a more physical aspect, one that he'd relished. But just now, he was regretting it. Suppose this were a repeat of Maude… how would he survive? Even if Edith lived through it, her disappointment would be devastating. And what if he had killed her too?

"No, no…" he chastised himself inwardly. "Don't think like that; you mustn't… Edith would be so disappointed. She looks at things in such a positive manner….You must also." Looking again at his pocket watch, he realized that only a few minutes had passed since the last time he'd checked it. But it had been hours since Edith had disappeared into her room, quickly followed by her maid. The doctor and mid-wife had been summoned and arrived soon after. And they had all been gathered in Edith's chamber, along with her mother for an eternity in Anthony's mind.

With a deep sigh he looked upward, as if he could see into their room above. He wanted so much to go to her, to know she was still with him… to tell her how very much he loved her and how much meaning she had brought into his dull life. But most of all, he just wanted to touch her, feel life in her.

Cora Crawley eased down the stairs quietly. She was tired, having held Edith's hand and tried to soothe her through the hours of labor. At first it had not been too difficult but the last two hours had been quite different. Poor Edith had been in such pain. The reason became clear as things progressed..

Opening the door to the library, she first spotted Robert in a chair with his back to her. Dear Robert, she thought as a smile lit her heart. Matthew was in another chair by the fireplace, his head in his hands. His turn would be next. Mary had only a month or so before it would be her time. Finally, she saw Anthony, huddled close to the drapes at the window. Paler than any living being ought to be, his blue eyes fixed on her fear clouding them. She knew he was waiting for a word from her and feared what it might be.

Stepping in his direction, Cora mustered the strength for a broad smile. "I believe your wife like a word with you," she said softly. Visibly weak with relief, he recovered quickly and dashed from the room. As she watched him leave she couldn't remember ever seeing him move so fast. Turning back to Robert and Matthew, she gave them her news. "Congratulations Robert, you are a grandfather…again."

Anthony barely paused at the door, giving it only a brief knock before charging into the room. Relief flooded through him as he saw Edith, his dear, sweet Edith, propped on pillows against the headboard of the bed. She looked up at him, her fatigue showing in her gentle features, but her smile welcoming him. Edging towards the bed, he settled carefully and reached for her hand. "You…you are alright?" he asked so softly she hardly could hear him.

Her eyes caressed him with love. "Yes, tired but Doctor Clarkson says after some rest I'll be just fine."

Nodding his approval, he smiled. Then leaning in, he lingered over what he'd intended to be a rather chaste peck to her cheek. "Then you shall rest," he declared firmly.

Tugging at his hand to draw him closer, Edith glanced at the mid-wife and then back at her husband. "Well aren't you at all interested in what we have produced. Goodness Anthony, you fidget and track every lamb, calf, or piglet born on the estate. I should think you would show more interest in your own offspring," she teased.

Laughing now, Anthony finally accepted that indeed, things were as they should be. "I am most interested, my dear. But I had to know that you are alright. You are my life, you know."

Edith smiled at him amiably and then reached toward the mid-wife. Taking a small bundle from the woman, she cradled it close to her and pushed aside the blanket that covered a tiny face. "Well my love, you have a daughter. Isn't she beautiful?"

Anthony leaned over to gaze at the small red face and grinned foolishly. "Oh yes…most beautiful. In fact, next to her mother, I believe she is the most beautiful girl ever." He'd barely gotten a good glimpse of his daughter when the mid-wife took her from Edith. Disappointed, he followed the woman's movement as she placed the bundle in a small basket. Doctor Clarkson edged closer and it was only then that Anthony noticed that the other man's arms were full. Gently Clarkson handed his bundle to Edith.

Anthony frowned, confused. And then as understanding struck him, he nearly fainted with disbelief. Edith smiled mischievously at him. "And this is your son, born only two minutes after his sister."

Anthony leaned forward again and glimpsed into the folds of the blanket to view his son. "Oh, he is a handsome little fellow, isn't he?" Anthony bragged. And indeed, Anthony thought the little fellow did have a look about him, despite his red face. "He looks smaller than his sister," he observed nervously.

"Only by a few ounces," Clarkson spoke up. "And I believe he will be built like his father, long," the man said with a smile. "He is a full inch longer than his sister."

Anthony looked up from his son to his wife. He couldn't stop the tears that gathered in his eyes and rolled down his face. "Thank you," he breathed out in an intimate whisper.

"So have you decided on any names?" Clarkson wanted to know.

Anthony was absolutely flustered by the question. They had discussed a few names but for the life of him, he couldn't remember any they had chosen. Looking at his wife for help, she smiled at him knowingly. "If it was a boy I wanted to name it after his father but Anthony said he preferred not. So we had decided to name him after our fathers so his name will be Robert …"

"Thomas," Anthony interjected quickly, his mind finally beginning to function again.

Edith looked at him perplexed. "But what of your father…I thought we'd agreed on Charles?"

"We had," Anthony confirmed. "But Thomas means twin," he added proudly. "So I think it should be Robert Thomas…or Thomas Robert. Which do you prefer, my darling?"

Edith looked at him with such admiration, Anthony felt as if he were floating. "Pappa will be so pleased. I like Robert Thomas," she said. "But what about your father?"

"Perhaps we will have another son one day… if not, my father would still be pleased. He liked your father quite a lot."

Edith looked down into the face of their son. "So what do you think about all this?" she asked him. He responded with a small stretch and a tiny smack of his lips. Everyone chuckled. "Then it is settled," she declared. Looking across at her husband, who seemed to have a permanent expression of befuddlement now, Edith lifted the baby toward him. "Wouldn't you like to hold your son, Anthony?"

His bright blue eyes opened wide as shock overtook him. "Me? I um….I don't think…I'm not quite sure….how?"

Clarkson stepped in and took the baby from Edith. Then turning to Anthony he began to give instructions. 'Hold your arm up to cradle him," Clarkson told him. Then pulling a spare pillow from the head of the bed, he pushed it into Anthony's lap. This will help you support him," Clarkson said as he positioned Anthony's arm over the pillow. Letting his arm rest on top of the pillow, his hand firmly but gently reaching around his tiny bundle, Anthony felt the joy of holding his own child. Again, tears began to roll down his face.

Looking across at Edith as the mid-wife settled the girl back in Edith's arms, he smiled. "She needs a name too…"

"I know we had decided on Cora Elizabeth, after our mothers but what about Charlotte Elizabeth?" Edith asked.

"Charlotte?" Anthony was confused again.

"For Charles…"

"Ah…thank you but, no. After what your mother went through today with you, I believe we should stay with Cora Elizabeth."

"Are you sure? I feel like we a re slighting your father," Edith said worriedly.

Tilting his head slightly, in a manner that Edith had come to cherish, Anthony looked first at his son and then his daughter and finally, up at his wife. "My father would be immensely pleased and quite proud. He wouldn't feel slighted in the least." The noticing the dark circles under his wife's eyes, Anthony nodded to the mid-wife and then at little Cora Elizabeth. Understanding immediately, the woman took the baby from Edith, whose protest was a mere whimper. "I think you've had enough excitement for one day, my dear,' Anthony told his wife. "We'll let this kind lady take charge of our children and you should rest."

Edith watched as Robert Thomas was taken from his father's good arm. "I am tired. But…I know it isn't… I mean, normally you would…" Edith looked at him shyly.

Clarkson chose that moment to clear his throat. "I'll help carry your two little ones to the nursery and we'll give the nanny charge of them. Everyone could do with a little rest, I believe."

The room cleared quickly, leaving Edith and Anthony alone. She looked up at him tiredly. "Would you stay with me awhile longer?"

Shifting his position on the bed, Anthony leaned against the headboard and wrapped his left arm around his wife. "Of course, my darling. Why don't you just settle here against me and we'll both have a much needed nap."

Edith did as she was told and nestled into him. Anthony planted the most tender of kisses on the top of her head and spoke soothingly to her of how proud he was of her and of their babies. And as his soft, warm voice lulled her to sleep, he heard her mumble, "I'm glad you are happy. I love you so much. All I want is for you to be happy."

And as Anthony Strallan listened to his wife's breathing even out as she fell into sleep, he reflected on the life she had given him, a life he still couldn't believe was possible for him. 'I am, my dear," he whispered softly. "So happy…so very, very happy."

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I do hope you enjoyed. Won't you please leave a review? Thank you.


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